He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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