Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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