so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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