You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
