bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How external is "for external use only"?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
