i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
