ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
