Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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