DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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