I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
