We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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