hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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