I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
