Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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