I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's shark week go big or go home
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
