please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The power of my boobs compel you
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
