WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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