Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
