I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
well you can't waste a boner
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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