i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
