the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
