ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
