she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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