Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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