I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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