then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
