I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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