whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
