Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Randomize
