I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize