I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
