Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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