Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
