He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize