I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize