Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
