I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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