So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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