Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
