my vag is so smooth its legendary
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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