i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize