You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
