The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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