My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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