I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
