i jhust puked up my retainher.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
