I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
