After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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