I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
