And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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