How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
