dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize
