Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
