Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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