drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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