Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
