You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
