I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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