Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
pray to the hookup gods
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
