We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
